We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
