There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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