Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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