At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
