white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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