ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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