So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
