I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
