Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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