I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
