i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
