I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
