i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
