I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
