He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
