I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
