I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I touched a dick in church today
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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