i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
