Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
