Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
