O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
