Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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