I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
