happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize
