Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you didnt know i had herpes?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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