My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The air was thick with penises
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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