I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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