i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Someone signed my nipple.
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