Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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