Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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