we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
