Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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