K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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