we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
