As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
