wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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