I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
