careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
