is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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