I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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