Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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