I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
