I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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