I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
