Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
