I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
