glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bring me that man meat
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
