Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
