He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
