As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
