I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
