he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
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