It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
