i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
