that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
