I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
