The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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