i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
