11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
