You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
