we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They took my balls.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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