I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
