but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
