i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
