think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
