I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
