never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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